The untreated ADHD child wonders confusedly "Why is everyone always angry with me?" "Why am I always in trouble?" "What's wrong with me?" He doesn't mean to break or ruin things--she doesn't deliberately disobey or ignore instructions. Constant movement, insatiable exploration, and single-minded focus on one subject almost inevitably elicit negative reactions from most people around the child with ADHD, and if untreated, the course of that child's life can be depicted fairly accurately.
Constant disapproval and resulting rejection can contribute to the child's sense of danger and fear of abandonment--resulting in a constant state of hyperarousal to protect oneself from harm. While serving the purpose of protecting for survival, constant hyperarousal can lead to the development of chronic somatic problems such as ulcers, soft-tissue rheumatism, and debilitating headaches.
There is an educational cost levied to the child with ADHD: difficulty in following instructions and some difficulty in motor control can negatively affect a child's performance in school and thus contribute to a lessened interest in schoolwork, gaps in learning, and a growing sense of being slow or dumb. Where once there was insatiable curiosity--now there might be lethargic disinterest because of previous failures or disapproval and lack of acceptance. An emotional cost is evident as well. A sense of being bad, of not measuring up, of not being acceptable, of not belonging can all lead to depression, a fragmented self-identity, self-protective shutdown of emotion, addictive behaviors, and in some cases excessive and harmful antisocial behaviors.
A further painful adjunct to ADHD is the resulting cost in social interactions. An inability to read others' reactions to moderate one's interactions appropriately can result in social distancing by others. Inappropriate comments, actions, and behaviors create further distancing. Repeated withdrawal by others augments the emotional sense of being flawed in some way and enhances the loneliness that a person with ADHD endures.
As the ADHD child becomes an adolescent or adult, the accrual of losses in health, education, self esteem, identity, and social interactions can be staggeringly painful. So much pain--so much lost opportunity--so much unnecessary waste.
Unnecessary, because there is positive effective treatment for ADHD: a) careful monitoring of medication (predominantly stimulant medication); b) psychotherapy to deal with endured losses and grief; and c) behavior modification for training in social skills, study and organization skills, and problem-solving skills. These three components working together comprise an effective blueprint for moderating brain chemistry, healing of debilitating accrued emotional pain, and remediation of educational, learning, and social deficits. With these components at work, the person with ADHD can function at a high level, can access the high intelligence usually present, and can explore and develop previously repressed or discounted creativity. With these factors present, the person with ADHD has the opportunity to harness his or her mental and creative abilities; to learn about self and to value who he/she is; and to develop into a fully-functioning, life-experiencing, socially-competent, self-appreciating, self-actualizing individual--high possibilities indeed and well worth the investment in time, thought, and expense. The potential for being in control of one's ADHD symptoms, for harnessing one's unique creativity and strengths, and for enjoying and appreciating one's unique personality and identity is exciting and possible--it can be achieved!